"In between thoughts and expression lies a lifetime of peace and war."
In silence, I could devour her gentle eyelids
strip them of their candescence glow with stolen kisses
dim the lights down, a little lower than before
until her eyes hold the darkness of my face near hers,
In silence, I could leave her worries estranged
as I'd breathe love into the pulse dancing on her fragile chest, into her timid heart
Clashing footsteps in my mind and hers, while the street lights cast no traces of life.
This world of frenzy trapped inside her head
"Are we staying here, in this moment, only to leave?"
Her thoughts drum faster, through her lips into mine
Fears. unfathomable, unconquered.
She lies there, having won the game of loss
in hopes of building a home
Engulfed by the sea of morbid storms still raining on his pride
In little nooks and corners of a quiet mind, that now rests unconquered and free
From the eyes that surround him
and hold his gaze tight
From the hearts that breathe into him
A little bit of love, another chance at life.
They remain undeterred
Why not paint the sky with your virtue and might
Hold your sins by the reign, on display?
Ah, such exquisite distortions in a life gone awry
And the irony of choice between
Threading me another tale of misery, of truth
Or, granting him the chance to save me with
I don't need you to fight my battles
or tell me I'm strong
I don't need to hear you whisper
a prayer for me long after I'm gone
I don't need a crying shoulder
or a giving friend
All I need is silence
and the chance to look at you again.
I can fight life as it may come
in small packages and big surprises
live through dismay and huge sacrifices
I can do it all
It'd just be nicer somehow
if I had you too.
not because I'm complete
but because I'd be more than whole
if you were here.
I guess we all need a shoulder sometimes
and someone to watch us face our life
It's just nicer sometimes to not be alone at your lowest
not so they can pull you back up
but because they'll be waiting there when you're done
and give your end a better name
and your worn out self some love.
Sing to me
won't you please
of the time
when the sun rise meant I'd see your face
of the time
when being in love felt better than being without it
of the time
i'd smile at the chance of meeting you someday
of the time
there was a world of tomorrows
in my head.
Like an ounce of sunlight in a jar
I'd trap those moments, too, in my boxed heart
and let them linger in the corners of my closed eyes
as I'd lay
they'd flow out on the creeks of my face
at the sight of you
“And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can't ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it's already happened. ” -- Douglas Coupland "Life After God."
So what do I do
when the sun is out
and I'm stuck in my head
thinking of you
When the dusk settles
and the lights come on
and I'm stuck in the moment
When the cars come home
and the curtains are drawn
inbetween tomorrow and today
while I long for you
These cycles go on
into the early morn
as another day is lost
for a love forlorn
Isn't it strange
like a knot undone
Because I want what we had
But I don't want you.
To laugh and share good jokes.
To smile at yourself in the mirror.
To sleep to the sound of your favorite song.
To eat good food in company.
To have peace under the roof
and warmth in your heart.
To care and be cared for.
To have people who listen to you
and value you.
to atleast three people in your life.
To have it all
and not You
Is to have won
the game of loss.
On the wrong track
finding a way back into love
There's been more harm done than good
What I could've been
and what I'll always be
is crystal clear, so different.
If I had known this would be today
I'd linger in my yesterdays
I'd rewind till the days of scraped knees
and start all over again.
"The years teach what the days may never know"
I tell myself along the way
They say things they don't mean. And, when they do mean things from the deepest corners of their hearts they don't always say it.
When they smile at you, across the hallways, on the train, in the middle of the road, from windows above they don't mean a thing. While they look at you, straight in your eyes, whisper in your ears, they still don't.
They write big words, and commit to great standards in life, but their reality is full of mistakes. Their words can heal you and their warmth can help you weather the worst of storms in life, but they later become a storm you can't handle, the reason behind the tears you can't fight.
They lie, they cheat, they love, they pray. All at the same time.
And I, too, smile and pray and love and lie to myself that I don't hate humans. Because, I do.
First pages have a funny sense of optimism. Everything, in the starting, seems so beautiful, so bright. The wake of dawn, the birth of a baby, the start of a new relation.
The sun rays hit your face, and you wake up from a deep slumber. Untouched by worries or sorrow, there are these precious seconds between wakefulness and sleep, where the mind walks across the bridge built between dreams and reality. In those mili-seconds of bliss, we trudge across a path of tranquil serenity and pure oblivion. We walk on the unknown shores, on the sands of dreams, while the waters of reality slowly touch us, as we lay there in bed, and slowly wake up to the world we had left behind a few hours ago. We trudge along, becoming almost indifferent to the distant lulls of our fantasy-land, yet unaware of the reality that awaits us. Before the waves of memories, responsibilities, chores, regrets-- the weight of it all-- encompasses our state of waking, before we enter the lands uncontrolled by our wishes and wills. For the first few moments, unlike any other in the rest of lives, we are free.
Who would've known that love can concoct evil? That the simple pleasure of finding your reflections in another other soul can ruin and devastate your own existence. Where the magic of growing up together can disable you from growing up alone. Where the joys of passion and remembrance can turn into sordid thoughts of chaos and ache.
Why does a beautiful beginning seldom reach its beautiful end?
The coming together of two souls bleeds love and purity in its truest form. How then does a child grow up to lead a life of despair? Why isn't the beauty of new life sustained as the child grows up? Why do the memories of his childhood, and the dreams of a good career, a good future, a great life never translate into the present reality?
Why are all the first pages of all these stories you hear the best that'll ever be?
"Yeah", she told herself. "First pages do have a funny way of seeming bright."
While into the arms of heaven I shall soar relentlessly, painlessly with all my might I will find my way towards peace. Out of darkness Into the streams of light around the corners of tomorrow if not today but one day I will find you.
Find you, enchain you into the spaces of my mind keep you, hold you through wavering times But till then, I mustn't wither my strength to look for you around If not now, maybe somehow I shall find peace and maybe in it find you too.
Take your heart and your soul
the pieces and bits of you
you hide so well.
Out from the corners, and into the light
Let the hidden be known.
locked and untouched, what art thou but a broken tie
a fragile bond, my yesteryear
always there, but never around
like a song in my head
and a beat to my feet
you are truth; a reality.
Do not twinkle or let me blink.
Stay till you must be gone
Like rain must pour and I must breathe
Let your presence be my possibility.
As I scour through remains
and put you in an old box on the left
Smile at me through these photographs
As I hear you call my name
and live this love
in my head.